My First Halloween…

I’ve posted this on sites past, so stop me if you’ve heard this one….

When I was about five, maybe four, I went trick or treating with my 14 year old baby sitter and her friend of about the same age. Two girls that I absolutely adored at the time. I suppose that the feeling was mutual, because otherwise, why would they take me out, right? 

In any event, we didn’t really have much money so I was adorned in the ever popular yet utterly frugal costume—-the bum. Over sized torn up clothing, coffee grounds hugging my face by means of stick butter pushed into my pores. A black plastic derby help tight to my head by a piece of elastic and lastly—the oversized plastic cigar. I don’t remember there being dollar stores back then, but if there was, this is where you would have found my costume. 

The whole night was eventful, I guess, I don’t remember much. Except for one house… 

 It was dark. I don’t recall if there was the rule that if the porch light isn’t on, then leave the residents be. If there was, I was not adhering to it. Without too much light except for nearby homes, I crept up to the front door, past a van, and a chopper. There was quite a commotion coming from the house. I knock on the door. The door flies open. A big billow of aromatic smoke, which smells sort of like burning leaves, rolls out of the house. He music is just blasting. There are happy people everywhere. Loud banter and goings on drown out my small voice as I greet the man sitting next to the door. I hear the words midget and little guy, a couple of times. Really not knowing what is going on, I bring up my voice a little bit more and say “Trick or treat!” The man that now reminds me of Tommy Chong says “Oh yeah! Trick or treat, trick or treat, right! Just a second, man.” I stand there patiently and anxious to skedaddle. He leans deeply to his left away from the door and then leans towards my pillow case full of candy and drops in two bottles of Lucky Lager, (you know, the kind with the riddles on the caps) and says “Happy Halloween little guy!” I say thanks and run back to the street where my escorts were waiting. 

My baby sitter asked me what took so long due to the fact that she never saw me interact with the people because the van was blocking the view to the front door. I told her that they had to find something for me to take for a treat. She then asked what I got. I told her two bottles of beer. At that point, my baby sitter and her friend proceeded to get the beers out and down them before we made it home. 

I know what you are thinking, well what I am thinking; this was careless and something tragic could have happened. If this happened in today’s world I would go crazy on whoever would pull a stunt like that. But back then, it seemed a different time, and probably wasn’t too much out of the normal. Good times.

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